Big Baffling Behaviors: A Book Review

By Courtney Scott, LEARNING SUPPORT SPECIALIST

Have you ever had one of those days as a caregiver where nothing seems to go right? You're left wondering why your child is acting in a certain way and feeling unsure about how to respond. If that sounds familiar, take heart—I have a book recommendation for you.

As part of our professional development for the 2024-2025 school year, all Joy School staff read Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobel. I first came across this book over a year ago while searching for a tool that could help others better understand behavior in a clear and accessible way. Throughout my career, both in and out of the classroom, I have participated in numerous training courses and read many books to grow as a parent, teacher, and advocate for children who struggle. Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors quickly became one of my go-to books because it explains brain function in a way that is both easy to understand and simple to communicate with others.

Robyn uses relatable animal metaphors—such as the owl, watchdog, and possum—to illustrate different parts of the brain, making it easier for adults to understand and for students to relate. This approach has deepened my understanding and provided me with a meaningful way to discuss the brain with students. The book also offers support for caregivers, helping you feel less alone on this difficult journey while providing practical tools and strategies that feel truly attainable.

One of the book's most powerful messages is the reminder to dig deeper rather than take behaviors at face value. Robyn consistently reinforces the idea that all behavior makes sense, encouraging us to approach challenges with curiosity rather than a need for control. By stepping back, seeing the bigger picture, and looking beyond the behavior itself to its root cause, we are better equipped to support children with compassion and insight. Robyn teaches us that examining a child's inner world, outer world, and the space between can help us uncover what is driving their behaviors. Although digging deeper requires time and effort, the outcome is well worth it.

Robyn's perspective aligns closely with The Joy School's mission. We strive to look beyond surface-level responses and instead explore the deeper "why" behind behavior. Her insights serve as a powerful reminder that when we seek to understand rather than react, we create space for real growth and connection. In doing so, Robyn has also provided TJS staff with a shared language to guide our conversations with students. This common understanding of baffling behaviors allows us to meet students where they are and create plans that support them in the ways they need most. We now have a resource we can return to—one that reminds us to look beneath the surface, seek the root cause, and approach behaviors with greater empathy and insight.

This book offers practical strategies that any parent, teacher, coach, or caregiver can apply, because these behaviors show up in nearly every setting where children are present. Robyn guides us, as caregivers, to reflect on our responses and what is happening in our own lives so that we can stay regulated and better support the children in our care. She gently reminds us to connect before we correct, and to take a moment to pause and look beneath the behavior before jumping into discipline. Unless a child's safety is at risk, giving everyone the space to calm and re-engage their thinking brain can make all the difference. These strategies do not just help us support children—they also deepen our communication and connections with people of all ages.

Caring for children is one of the most complicated and most important jobs we will ever do, and having the right tools can make all the difference. This book does not just offer strategies; it provides hope, understanding, and a reminder that we are not alone. Whether you are navigating daily challenges or simply hoping to connect more deeply with the kids in your life, Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors is a gift worth reading.

For more information about how The Joy School maximizes children's learning potential click here.