Joy Gave Us Our Child Back - One Parent's Story

The Joy School's annual luncheon featuring special quest Kimberly Harrison, PHD and Alumni Speaker Charlie McIntyre is coming up at the end of this month. Don't miss your chance to laugh, cry, learn, and celebrate all the ways The Joy School continues to change lives year after year, student after student.

Here is one of the speeches from last year's luncheon that reminds us why we do what we do.

"My name is J.J. Oshins, and my wife Kate and I have three boys. Our second son, Parker, is thriving in third grade at The Joy School. He got the game ball last week at Post Oak Little League and went to sleepaway camp last year in North Carolina, and our parent-teacher conference this past Tuesday with Ms. Anastasia was glowing.

If you had told me this two years ago, I would have said you’re talking about a different Parker.

Two years ago, we were scared and, frankly, desperate for answers.

Two years ago, the indelible image was Parker alone on a swing set during recess.

Two years ago, the image was Parker melting down at the end of the day, emotionally spent and confidence drained.

“I don’t understand,” “It’s so hard,” and “I just can’t do it” were common refrains, and we watched his self-esteem plummet.

With the help of the St. Francis Wings Program and my sister-in-law Emily Duncan, who happens to be a reading specialist, Parker had NOT fallen behind academically, but socially and in terms of maturity, it was a STRUGGLE.

Struggle to make friends. Struggle to pick up on social cues. Struggle to bounce back from challenges.

By then, we had Parker tested, and he was diagnosed with Dyslexia, ADHD, and a processing delay. ADHD was no surprise, considering our family tree is riddled. We should have an Adderall dispenser in our kitchen.

Dyslexia is a scary thing until you read the list of accomplished people who have it, including my father-in-law, John, who is in the room. I’ll share with you a favorite quote of his from Sarah Woolrich, the first head of St. Francis and Johnny’s first-grade teacher, who said, “I don’t have time for anyone who can only spell a word one way.”

“Processing delays” was the scary one for me. It’s when your computer freezes, and you need to hit control alt delete. It means just what it sounds like—it takes someone more time to take in and use information. This can manifest in a number of ways, including following instructions because your working memory is only 10-15 seconds.

To be honest, I had heard of The Joy School but knew very little about it. My wife Kate, however, was already all over it. Those of you who know Kate are not the least bit surprised by this. There has never been a more action-oriented person on the planet. Urged on by our friends, the Evans, we started to gather information. Our advisors at St. Francis, where Parker attended (and a school we’re very fond of), told us, “We love Parker and don’t want to see him go, but if The Joy School says they can help him, you’d be a fool not to send him.”

On February 25, 2022, Parker was accepted to The Joy School. Now, it was decision time, and we got nervous. Kate decided to take Parker’s temperature and said, “Parker, what do you think?” Having visited ONCE on visiting day during the admissions process, Parker was adamant—I want to go to Joy! That day clearly made an immediate impact.

Parker started The Joy School in the Fall of 2022 in Ms. Motal’s second-grade class. We didn’t hear much from him (typical after-school conversation with Parker is “good”) until back-to-school night when we got our first sign that things were changing. Kate mentioned to Parker that she was going to back-to-school night, and he said, “Mom, I need to tell you about my class. This person has ADHD and is working on focus. This classmate has dyslexia and is working on reading...”

Instead of thinking he was different or the only one struggling, Joy had already helped him realize that everyone has something; everyone is working on improving something. This realization made it possible for him to start applying strategies to control impulses and emotional reactions, which distracted him from learning and made it difficult to make friends.

Ms. Motal immediately understood Parker and had an amazing ability to help him reset when he got frustrated. She helped him understand his strengths and weaknesses. For example, she helped him realize that reading was a strength for him, and this awareness led to him willingly volunteering to read aloud during whole group reading times or helping friends who were struggling to read. It created a sense of belonging, and it took the pressure off to where Parker’s abilities were able to shine through. Ms. Motal also employed a turtle, “snapper,” who was a favorite, and I thought it might make a trip to our house at one point!

The story continues in third grade with another amazing teacher, Ms. Anastasia, who continues to reinforce Parker’s strengths and challenge him to take on more.

Which brings me back to why we’re all here. There are other children out there struggling, like Parker and Noah. Children who are quickly losing confidence as they struggle with academic and social challenges due to their learning differences; however, they do not have the financial means.

Please help me and The Joy School support them.

Fund The Mission supports The Joy School’s Student Aid Fund and ensures The Joy School has the resources to step in where needed and change the world of a young person who needs a different path. Here are some numbers for you…

1.  On average, 15-20% of the student body receives partial or full tuition assistance. This year, 19% of our students are receiving tuition aid.

2.  Since 2001, almost $8.8 million has been given to assist with tuition and after-school and study hall programs.

3.  This year alone, approximately $830,000 has been allocated to financial aid.

Our dream for Parker was for him to not only advocate for himself and embrace his learning differences but also be empowered by these differences. Thanks to The Joy School, Parker is reaching his academic and social potential in a safe, supportive environment.

As I said earlier, and as Kate often says, “Joy gave us our child back.” But we aren’t the only ones. So many parents at The Joy School, many of whom are here today, feel the same way."

 

Join us for our annual luncheon at The River Oaks Country Club on February 25th to hear more stories of the way The Joy School continues to change lives. If Parker's story resonates with you, sign up for a parent tour to learn more about how The Joy School might give you your child back as well.